Public Health Internships
By Penny Loretto, About.com Guide
The Health Resources and Services Administration(HRSA), an agency of the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), was established to improve access to healthcare services to those people who are uninsured, isolated or medially vulnerable. Approximately tens of millions of Americans are able to obtain affordable health care and other sources of help through HRSA’s 100 – plus programs.
HRSA is comprised of six bureaus and 13 offices that help provide leadership and financial support to health care providers in every state and US territory. HRSA also participates in the training of health professionals and are very concerned about improving the health care systems in rural communities across the nation.
Internship Description:
An internship with The Health Resources and Services Administration of the US Department of Health & Human Services offers undergraduate and graduate students an opportunity to participate in an unpaid practicum experience at schools of public health in the Washington, DC area.
Interns at HRSA will be able to gain experience in a variety of disciplines such as: rural health policy, HIV/AIDS, maternal and child health, health systems, and program analysis and evaluation. Each intern will achieve professional growth by learning about the important work that is accomplished by HRSA and participating in hand-on work experiences along with training and development activities that are incorporated in the program.
The scope of internships with HRSA will depend on current issues and will vary widely. Below describes some of the things that interns may be expected to do or participate in.
Support in the management of grants and programs at HRSA
Participate in HRSA’s public health seminar series and related staff development activities
Plan and coordinate meetings of public health experts/practitioners
Shadow and conduct informational interviews with key HRSA staff
Apply skills to goal-based projects in the range of competency areas specified by the student’s school’s curriculum Location: Washington, DC
HRSA offers a wide variety of resources for various health concerns for both business and the community.
To Apply:
Interested students should contact the HRSA Learning Institute at HLI@hrsa.gov. The subject line of the email message should read “public health internship" and the following must be attached: resume, unofficial transcript, a brief personal statement addressing your goals for the internship (500 words or less). Documents in .pdf format are preferred.
The Health Resources and Services Administration(HRSA), an agency of the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), was established to improve access to healthcare services to those people who are uninsured, isolated or medially vulnerable. Approximately tens of millions of Americans are able to obtain affordable health care and other sources of help through HRSA’s 100 – plus programs.
HRSA is comprised of six bureaus and 13 offices that help provide leadership and financial support to health care providers in every state and US territory. HRSA also participates in the training of health professionals and are very concerned about improving the health care systems in rural communities across the nation.
Internship Description:
An internship with The Health Resources and Services Administration of the US Department of Health & Human Services offers undergraduate and graduate students an opportunity to participate in an unpaid practicum experience at schools of public health in the Washington, DC area.
Interns at HRSA will be able to gain experience in a variety of disciplines such as: rural health policy, HIV/AIDS, maternal and child health, health systems, and program analysis and evaluation. Each intern will achieve professional growth by learning about the important work that is accomplished by HRSA and participating in hand-on work experiences along with training and development activities that are incorporated in the program.
The scope of internships with HRSA will depend on current issues and will vary widely. Below describes some of the things that interns may be expected to do or participate in.
Support in the management of grants and programs at HRSA
Participate in HRSA’s public health seminar series and related staff development activities
Plan and coordinate meetings of public health experts/practitioners
Shadow and conduct informational interviews with key HRSA staff
Apply skills to goal-based projects in the range of competency areas specified by the student’s school’s curriculum Location: Washington, DC
HRSA offers a wide variety of resources for various health concerns for both business and the community.
To Apply:
Interested students should contact the HRSA Learning Institute at HLI@hrsa.gov. The subject line of the email message should read “public health internship" and the following must be attached: resume, unofficial transcript, a brief personal statement addressing your goals for the internship (500 words or less). Documents in .pdf format are preferred.
Learning the Ropes from a Professional in the Field
By Penny Loretto, About.com Guide
A good mentoring relationship provides new employees as well as interns with someone that will share their professional knowledge and expertise in the field. A good mentor is available to answer any questions relevant to the job. Good mentor-mentee relationships are a two way street; consequently, if you want a good relationship with your mentor, become a good mentee. This requires a genuine interest in your mentor and a willingness to do what it takes to become successful as an intern or new employee in the field. Following suggestions and recommendations as well as reading all pertinent literature available in the field is a good way to show your mentor that you are committed to being successful and that you take your career and responsibilities seriously.
A good mentor possesses the following qualities:
1. Willingness to share skills, knowledge, and expertise.
A good mentor is willing to teach what he/she knows and accept the mentee where they currently are in their professional development. Good mentors can remember what it was like just starting out in the field. The mentor does not take the mentoring relationship lightly and understands that good mentoring requires time and commitment and is willing to continually share information and their ongoing support with the mentee.
2. Demonstrates a positive attitude and acts as a positive role model.
A good mentor exhibits the personal attributes it takes to be successful in the field. By showing the mentee what it takes to be productive and successful, they are demonstrating the specific behaviors and actions required to succeed in the field.
3. Takes a personal interest in the mentoring relationship.
Good mentors do not take their responsibility as a mentor lightly. They feel invested in the success of the mentee. Usually this requires someone who is knowledgeable, compassionate, and possesses the attributes of a good teacher or trainer. Excellent communication skills are also required. A good mentor is committed to helping their mentees find success and gratification in their chosen profession. Overall good mentoring requires empowering the mentee to develop their own strengths, beliefs, and personal attributes.
4. Exhibits enthusiasm in the field.
A mentor who does not exhibit enthusiasm about his/her job will ultimately not make a good mentor. Enthusiasm is catching and new employees want to feel as if their job has meaning and the potential to create a good life.
5. Values ongoing learning and growth in the field.
Mentors are in a position to illustrate how the field is growing and changing and that even after many years there are still new things to learn. Anyone that feels stagnant in their current position will not make a good mentor. When starting out in a new career, people want to feel that the time and energy they spend learning will be rewarded and will ultimately provide them with career satisfaction. Good mentors are committed and are open to experimenting and learning practices that are new to the field. They continually read professional journals and may even write articles on subjects where they have developed some expertise. They are excited to share their knowledge with new people entering the field and take their role seriously in teaching their knowledge to others. They may choose to teach or attend classes to further develop their knowledge and skills. They enjoy taking workshops and attending professional conferences provided through their membership in professional associations.
6. Provides guidance and constructive feedback.
One of the key responsibilities of a good mentor is to provide guidance and constructive feedback to their mentee. This is where the mentee will most likely grow the most by identifying their current strengths and weaknesses and learning how to use these to make themselves successful in the field. A good mentor possess excellent communication skills and is able to adjust their communication to the personality style of the mentee. A good mentor will also provide the mentee with challenges that will foster professional development and a feeling of accomplishment in learning the field.
7. Respected by colleagues and employees in all levels of the organization.
Ideally mentees look up to their mentors and can see themselves filling the mentor's role in the future. Mentees want to follow someone who is well respected by colleagues and co-workers and whose contribution in the field is appreciated.
8. Sets and meets ongoing personal and professional goals.
A good mentor continually sets a good example by showing how his/her personal habits are reflected by personal and professional goals and overall personal success.
9. Values the opinions and initiatives of others.
A mentor who values others is also someone who works well in a team environment and is willing to share his/her success. A good mentor appreciates the ongoing effort of the mentee and empowers him/her through positive feedback and reinforcement.
10. Motivates others by setting a good example.
The ultimate success of being a good mentor…
A good mentoring relationship provides new employees as well as interns with someone that will share their professional knowledge and expertise in the field. A good mentor is available to answer any questions relevant to the job. Good mentor-mentee relationships are a two way street; consequently, if you want a good relationship with your mentor, become a good mentee. This requires a genuine interest in your mentor and a willingness to do what it takes to become successful as an intern or new employee in the field. Following suggestions and recommendations as well as reading all pertinent literature available in the field is a good way to show your mentor that you are committed to being successful and that you take your career and responsibilities seriously.
A good mentor possesses the following qualities:
1. Willingness to share skills, knowledge, and expertise.
A good mentor is willing to teach what he/she knows and accept the mentee where they currently are in their professional development. Good mentors can remember what it was like just starting out in the field. The mentor does not take the mentoring relationship lightly and understands that good mentoring requires time and commitment and is willing to continually share information and their ongoing support with the mentee.
2. Demonstrates a positive attitude and acts as a positive role model.
A good mentor exhibits the personal attributes it takes to be successful in the field. By showing the mentee what it takes to be productive and successful, they are demonstrating the specific behaviors and actions required to succeed in the field.
3. Takes a personal interest in the mentoring relationship.
Good mentors do not take their responsibility as a mentor lightly. They feel invested in the success of the mentee. Usually this requires someone who is knowledgeable, compassionate, and possesses the attributes of a good teacher or trainer. Excellent communication skills are also required. A good mentor is committed to helping their mentees find success and gratification in their chosen profession. Overall good mentoring requires empowering the mentee to develop their own strengths, beliefs, and personal attributes.
4. Exhibits enthusiasm in the field.
A mentor who does not exhibit enthusiasm about his/her job will ultimately not make a good mentor. Enthusiasm is catching and new employees want to feel as if their job has meaning and the potential to create a good life.
5. Values ongoing learning and growth in the field.
Mentors are in a position to illustrate how the field is growing and changing and that even after many years there are still new things to learn. Anyone that feels stagnant in their current position will not make a good mentor. When starting out in a new career, people want to feel that the time and energy they spend learning will be rewarded and will ultimately provide them with career satisfaction. Good mentors are committed and are open to experimenting and learning practices that are new to the field. They continually read professional journals and may even write articles on subjects where they have developed some expertise. They are excited to share their knowledge with new people entering the field and take their role seriously in teaching their knowledge to others. They may choose to teach or attend classes to further develop their knowledge and skills. They enjoy taking workshops and attending professional conferences provided through their membership in professional associations.
6. Provides guidance and constructive feedback.
One of the key responsibilities of a good mentor is to provide guidance and constructive feedback to their mentee. This is where the mentee will most likely grow the most by identifying their current strengths and weaknesses and learning how to use these to make themselves successful in the field. A good mentor possess excellent communication skills and is able to adjust their communication to the personality style of the mentee. A good mentor will also provide the mentee with challenges that will foster professional development and a feeling of accomplishment in learning the field.
7. Respected by colleagues and employees in all levels of the organization.
Ideally mentees look up to their mentors and can see themselves filling the mentor's role in the future. Mentees want to follow someone who is well respected by colleagues and co-workers and whose contribution in the field is appreciated.
8. Sets and meets ongoing personal and professional goals.
A good mentor continually sets a good example by showing how his/her personal habits are reflected by personal and professional goals and overall personal success.
9. Values the opinions and initiatives of others.
A mentor who values others is also someone who works well in a team environment and is willing to share his/her success. A good mentor appreciates the ongoing effort of the mentee and empowers him/her through positive feedback and reinforcement.
10. Motivates others by setting a good example.
The ultimate success of being a good mentor…
Give Them an Advantage in School…and Life!
By Dr. Charles Fay
What's the "bottom line" about chronically aggressive toddlers and preschoolers? Without powerfully effective intervention…before they enter kindergarten…the odds are very high that they will experience repeated failure in school and face a life filled with frustration and disappointments. The odds are also very high that they will inflict a great deal of emotional and physical pain upon others. These are strong words for a serious issue. Let's not beat around the bush and pretend that little tykes who chronically punch, kick, bite, or display any other aggressive behavior will simply grow out of it. Time is of critical importance here! Listed below are three important facts agreed upon by experts on this issue (for example, see Campell & Ewing, 1990; Offord & Bennett, 1994; Walker, Colvin & Ramsey, 1995.):
Potentially long-term aggressive behavior can very accurately be identified in children as young as age three or four. This antisocial behavior will very likely continue well into adulthood if intervention has not stopped it by the end of the third grade.
Early intervention in homes, schools, and communities is the critical key to preventing aggressive toddlers and preschoolers from becoming violent teens and adults.
Despite these frightening facts, there's good news! Based on the wonderful research conducted over the past quarter century, we now have an excellent understanding of how to prevent early aggressive behavior from becoming a lifelong pattern. The remainder of this article is devoted to taking a closer look at the essential components of effective early intervention. What can we do on a daily basis to help young children adopt peaceful…rather than painful…behavior?
Begin intervention as early in the child's life as possible. Time can be our biggest ally…or our biggest enemy. If we begin intervention very early, the odds are quite high that we'll be successful. In contrast, research shows that if a child is still chronically aggressive at age nine or ten the odds of successful intervention are extremely low (Walker, Colvin & Ramsey, 1995). Don't waste time thinking that any aggressive child will simply "grow out of it."
Limit exposure to television and videos. Do I really need to say much here? Do we already know from decades of research...and common sense…that little ones copy what they see? Can we really ignore the negative effects of children viewing unhealthy behavior on television or in videos? (For research on the topic, see NIMH, 1982; Liebert & Sprefkin, 1988; Huston et. al., 1992.)
Unfortunately, common sense just isn't as common as it once seemed to be.
And don't be fooled by movie ratings or the fact that a television show airs on Saturday morning! There's no substitute for previewing any videos or TV shows your young children might see.
There's another issue here: During the time when it is critical that young children are actively learning about their worlds through movement and play, does it make sense that they are spending time sitting passively in front of a screen? Is there any way that young children can learn the complex social, behavioral, and cognitive skills essential for success in school by sitting like zombies in front of the television? No way!
The more television a child watches, the more problems he or she will eventually have in school. It's just that simple.
Practice alternatives to spanking. I've met many naturally great parents, with very nice children, who believe that spanking really works. These parents swear by it, and their kids seem to be living proof that a whack on the bottom magically imparts responsible behavior. A closer look at these good families tells the real tale. While the parents think spanking is responsible for their success, what has really created such nice kids is all of the loving limits, guidance, and effective techniques they are using. When I ask how often they actually have to spank their children, these parents usually have a very difficult time remembering the last time. The real truth of the matter is that their kids are good kids because they are good and loving parents-not because they consider spanking a good technique.
The wisest and most sophisticated parents understand that little tykes copy the behavior of the "big" people around them. If a child has already shown signs of aggression, does it make any sense, whatsoever, to teach them a new battlefield technique by administering a hand to their butt? One smart mother commented, "It doesn't make a lick of sense to spank a kid when that kid has already made a habit of ´spanking´ others."
Smart parents also realize that their children will someday be in charge of selecting their nursing homes.
Researchers have observed that, in general, young children who are spanked display far more aggressive behavior than those who aren't (see for example Sears, Maccoby, & Levin 1957; Strassberg, Dodge, Petit, & Bates, 1994; Straus, Sugarman & Giles-Sims, 1997). Can we truly ignore all of this research?
Less sophisticated and less wise parents ignore all of these facts and attempt to argue that spanking teaches kids a good lesson. These are often the parents whose children are hanging on by an emotional thread. How sad.
Consistently apply empathy and logical consequences for aggressive behavior. If there's scientific proof that spanking and other forms of corporal punishment backfire in the long term, what can we do instead? With very young children there are two Love and Logic strategies that clearly apply here: (1) The "Uh Oh Song"; and (2) The "Energy Drain."
When a young child is behaving aggressively, one option is to sing "Uh oh" and place the child gently in his or her room, a playpen, or someplace else where we know the child will be safe and will not be able to trick us into giving them more attention while they are misbehaving. Without yelling or threatening, we remove the child from the scene of the crime.
The key to success with the "Uh Oh Song" is to give the child little or no attention…positive or negative…while they are being removed or while they are serving time.
The fewer words we use while the child is misbehaving, the more effective we will be.
Another key to success is to make certain that the child is calm before they are allowed to return.
Before experimenting with the "Uh Oh Song," be sure to review the step-by-step instructions on pages 71-76 of our book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood.
Parents who consistently apply the "Uh Oh Song" rave about how it has changed their lives for the better. Teachers who slightly modify it for use in their early childhood classrooms do the same.
By four years of age, most kids are ready for the "Energy Drain" approach, which is described on pages 107-108 of the book mentioned above. A foster mother wrote us and described how she used this with a young boy, Roger, who had turned fighting with his siblings into an art form. Every time Roger hit, she'd inform him, with sincere sadness in her voice, that he had drained her energy. Sadly for Roger, the only way energy could be replaced was to do extra chores for his unhappy, drained mother.
Not long after Mom discovered Love and Logic, Roger was asked by his therapist, "How's the fighting going?"
Displaying his disgust by rolling his eyeballs back in their sockets, Roger replied, "Don't do it no more. It drains Mom's energy. I'm sick and tired of putting energy back into her!"
From that day on, Roger waged far fewer battles, and his foster mom had far more energy!
Neutralize arguments and power struggles. Research on adult-child interaction patterns shows that children who are able to suck their parents and teachers into power struggles and arguments are significantly more likely to develop severely noncompliant…and aggressive… behavior in adolescence and adulthood (Patterson & Stouthamer-Loeber, 1984).
Fortunately, Love and Logic offers a powerful skill for putting an end to damaging arguments and power struggles!
What's the first step? Go brain dead. That's right. Do not think about what an arguing child is saying. If we think too hard, might it be too difficult for us to refrain from falling into the unfortunate trap of lecturing, threatening, arguing, or getting so worn out that we back down? The less we think about what the child is saying, the calmer we will stay.
The second and final step involves repeating just one simple phrase, over and over again, in a calm, empathetic way. My very favorite "argument-ender" is the following:
I love you too much to argue.
Parents and teachers who master the skill of becoming a loving "broken record" when kids argue are parents and teachers whose children are a lot more fun to be around!
Teach social skills and problem solving on a daily basis. Over years of observing and interviewing hundreds of very successful teachers and parents of special needs children, I've noticed that they all seem to say the same thing:
I can't assume that this child knows how to behave until I have repeatedly taught them and shown them how to behave. I also can't assume that they will learn it and remember it after I've taught it just once, twice, three times, or more. They will eventually learn how to behave only if I teach them just a small amount at a time and review it over and over again each and every day.
Successful parents and teachers identify specific behaviors they want kids to perform, and they repeatedly model and teach these behaviors, such as:
How to share How to stand in line without touching others How to say "please" and "thank you" What it looks like to be helpful How to comfort someone who is upset How to listen How to tell others how you feel instead of acting out your feelings by hitting, pushing, etc. How to compromise How to comfort yourself when you don't get your way
Young children learn through play. Great parents and teachers of young children teach through play. In the following example, Dad teaches three-year-old Ethan a fun lesson in problem solving:
Dad: (Holding Fred, the stuffed skunk) Uh oh, Fred has a big problem!
Ethan: What?
Dad: His friends are calling him names. They say he smells like a skunk.
Ethan: He IS a skunk!
Dad: Yeah. But it hurts his feelings. What do you think he should do?
Ethan: Maybe bite their noses!
Dad: Oh no. What would happen if he did that?
Ethan: He'd get in big trouble…have to go to his room.
Dad: Yeah. How sad. And then he wouldn't be able to play anymore. What else could he do?
Ethan: Don't know.
Dad: What if he was just silly and said, "I know. I'm very, very smelly. Woooo Weeee!" and played with the other kids anyway?
Ethan: Good! Silly!
And so on...
Systematically attend to positive behavior. How often does the following vicious cycle develop in the lives of aggressive toddlers?
The child hits, kicks, bites, or does something else hurtful.
A well-meaning adult quickly gives the aggressive child far too much attention in the form of warnings, lectures, or "punishments."
Subconsciously, the child learns that they receive the lion's share of the attention every child craves (albeit negative attention) when they are behaving poorly.
The child acts out more frequently to get this attention.
Well-meaning adults quickly give the child even more attention when he/she acts aggressively.
The cycle repeats itself over and over again, intensifying with each repetition.
The key to breaking this dangerous cycle involves paying close attention to the child and systematically "noticing" when they are performing the behaviors we want. More specifically, this aggression "antidote" involves the follow sequence of actions:
When the child is behaving, move over to the child, kneel down, and smile.
Look into their bright little eyes.
Give them a gentle pat on the back, a "high five," or a hug.
Describe the positive behavior you just witnessed, using the format,"I noticed…"
Far too frequently, we heap far too much nonspecific praise upon children. The more specific and precise our description of the behavior, the more successful we will be. For example,"I noticed that you shared the red truck with Jamie" will surely yield more favorable results than, "I noticed you are being so nice and sweet." In my presentations, I often give this tip:
Notice and specifically describe…rather than praise.
Consult with qualified medical and mental health professionals. Listed below are just a few possible causes of aggressive behavior in young children:
Poor parenting
Trauma in the form of abuse or neglect
Brain damage due to closed-head injury, lack of oxygen during the birth process, prenatal exposure to drugs, alcohol, or other toxins, etc.
Genetic abnormalities
Other health problems Marital problems resulting in family instability
Observation of aggressive peers
The list goes on.
Wise parents don't hesitate to consult with qualified medical and mental health professionals in order to rule out as many potential causes for the aggression as possible and treat the ones that seem to be playing a role in the problem.
Apply multiple effective interventions simultaneously.
The research is clear. The more helpful things we do to address the problem…and do at the same time…the greater the chances of success (Henry, 1987;Webster-Stratton & Hammond, 1997).
For example, an ineffective plan for Amy, a very aggressive youngster, might involve simply delivering a logical consequence each time she acts out.
An effective plan would involve not only delivering a logical consequence each time Amy acted aggressively, but also many other components, including limiting her exposure to TV and videos, modeling and teaching social skills, systematically attending to her positive behavior, adding family therapy, making sure that the home and daycare are "on the same page," etc.
There's great hope for little tykes who've fallen into the habit of terrorizing their homes and classrooms. That is, as long as the caring adults around them take immediate and decisive action. Please don't fall into the trap of thinking that a chronically disruptive, aggressive toddler will grow out of it. The world can't afford another violent teenager!
What's the "bottom line" about chronically aggressive toddlers and preschoolers? Without powerfully effective intervention…before they enter kindergarten…the odds are very high that they will experience repeated failure in school and face a life filled with frustration and disappointments. The odds are also very high that they will inflict a great deal of emotional and physical pain upon others. These are strong words for a serious issue. Let's not beat around the bush and pretend that little tykes who chronically punch, kick, bite, or display any other aggressive behavior will simply grow out of it. Time is of critical importance here! Listed below are three important facts agreed upon by experts on this issue (for example, see Campell & Ewing, 1990; Offord & Bennett, 1994; Walker, Colvin & Ramsey, 1995.):
Potentially long-term aggressive behavior can very accurately be identified in children as young as age three or four. This antisocial behavior will very likely continue well into adulthood if intervention has not stopped it by the end of the third grade.
Early intervention in homes, schools, and communities is the critical key to preventing aggressive toddlers and preschoolers from becoming violent teens and adults.
Despite these frightening facts, there's good news! Based on the wonderful research conducted over the past quarter century, we now have an excellent understanding of how to prevent early aggressive behavior from becoming a lifelong pattern. The remainder of this article is devoted to taking a closer look at the essential components of effective early intervention. What can we do on a daily basis to help young children adopt peaceful…rather than painful…behavior?
Begin intervention as early in the child's life as possible. Time can be our biggest ally…or our biggest enemy. If we begin intervention very early, the odds are quite high that we'll be successful. In contrast, research shows that if a child is still chronically aggressive at age nine or ten the odds of successful intervention are extremely low (Walker, Colvin & Ramsey, 1995). Don't waste time thinking that any aggressive child will simply "grow out of it."
Limit exposure to television and videos. Do I really need to say much here? Do we already know from decades of research...and common sense…that little ones copy what they see? Can we really ignore the negative effects of children viewing unhealthy behavior on television or in videos? (For research on the topic, see NIMH, 1982; Liebert & Sprefkin, 1988; Huston et. al., 1992.)
Unfortunately, common sense just isn't as common as it once seemed to be.
And don't be fooled by movie ratings or the fact that a television show airs on Saturday morning! There's no substitute for previewing any videos or TV shows your young children might see.
There's another issue here: During the time when it is critical that young children are actively learning about their worlds through movement and play, does it make sense that they are spending time sitting passively in front of a screen? Is there any way that young children can learn the complex social, behavioral, and cognitive skills essential for success in school by sitting like zombies in front of the television? No way!
The more television a child watches, the more problems he or she will eventually have in school. It's just that simple.
Practice alternatives to spanking. I've met many naturally great parents, with very nice children, who believe that spanking really works. These parents swear by it, and their kids seem to be living proof that a whack on the bottom magically imparts responsible behavior. A closer look at these good families tells the real tale. While the parents think spanking is responsible for their success, what has really created such nice kids is all of the loving limits, guidance, and effective techniques they are using. When I ask how often they actually have to spank their children, these parents usually have a very difficult time remembering the last time. The real truth of the matter is that their kids are good kids because they are good and loving parents-not because they consider spanking a good technique.
The wisest and most sophisticated parents understand that little tykes copy the behavior of the "big" people around them. If a child has already shown signs of aggression, does it make any sense, whatsoever, to teach them a new battlefield technique by administering a hand to their butt? One smart mother commented, "It doesn't make a lick of sense to spank a kid when that kid has already made a habit of ´spanking´ others."
Smart parents also realize that their children will someday be in charge of selecting their nursing homes.
Researchers have observed that, in general, young children who are spanked display far more aggressive behavior than those who aren't (see for example Sears, Maccoby, & Levin 1957; Strassberg, Dodge, Petit, & Bates, 1994; Straus, Sugarman & Giles-Sims, 1997). Can we truly ignore all of this research?
Less sophisticated and less wise parents ignore all of these facts and attempt to argue that spanking teaches kids a good lesson. These are often the parents whose children are hanging on by an emotional thread. How sad.
Consistently apply empathy and logical consequences for aggressive behavior. If there's scientific proof that spanking and other forms of corporal punishment backfire in the long term, what can we do instead? With very young children there are two Love and Logic strategies that clearly apply here: (1) The "Uh Oh Song"; and (2) The "Energy Drain."
When a young child is behaving aggressively, one option is to sing "Uh oh" and place the child gently in his or her room, a playpen, or someplace else where we know the child will be safe and will not be able to trick us into giving them more attention while they are misbehaving. Without yelling or threatening, we remove the child from the scene of the crime.
The key to success with the "Uh Oh Song" is to give the child little or no attention…positive or negative…while they are being removed or while they are serving time.
The fewer words we use while the child is misbehaving, the more effective we will be.
Another key to success is to make certain that the child is calm before they are allowed to return.
Before experimenting with the "Uh Oh Song," be sure to review the step-by-step instructions on pages 71-76 of our book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood.
Parents who consistently apply the "Uh Oh Song" rave about how it has changed their lives for the better. Teachers who slightly modify it for use in their early childhood classrooms do the same.
By four years of age, most kids are ready for the "Energy Drain" approach, which is described on pages 107-108 of the book mentioned above. A foster mother wrote us and described how she used this with a young boy, Roger, who had turned fighting with his siblings into an art form. Every time Roger hit, she'd inform him, with sincere sadness in her voice, that he had drained her energy. Sadly for Roger, the only way energy could be replaced was to do extra chores for his unhappy, drained mother.
Not long after Mom discovered Love and Logic, Roger was asked by his therapist, "How's the fighting going?"
Displaying his disgust by rolling his eyeballs back in their sockets, Roger replied, "Don't do it no more. It drains Mom's energy. I'm sick and tired of putting energy back into her!"
From that day on, Roger waged far fewer battles, and his foster mom had far more energy!
Neutralize arguments and power struggles. Research on adult-child interaction patterns shows that children who are able to suck their parents and teachers into power struggles and arguments are significantly more likely to develop severely noncompliant…and aggressive… behavior in adolescence and adulthood (Patterson & Stouthamer-Loeber, 1984).
Fortunately, Love and Logic offers a powerful skill for putting an end to damaging arguments and power struggles!
What's the first step? Go brain dead. That's right. Do not think about what an arguing child is saying. If we think too hard, might it be too difficult for us to refrain from falling into the unfortunate trap of lecturing, threatening, arguing, or getting so worn out that we back down? The less we think about what the child is saying, the calmer we will stay.
The second and final step involves repeating just one simple phrase, over and over again, in a calm, empathetic way. My very favorite "argument-ender" is the following:
I love you too much to argue.
Parents and teachers who master the skill of becoming a loving "broken record" when kids argue are parents and teachers whose children are a lot more fun to be around!
Teach social skills and problem solving on a daily basis. Over years of observing and interviewing hundreds of very successful teachers and parents of special needs children, I've noticed that they all seem to say the same thing:
I can't assume that this child knows how to behave until I have repeatedly taught them and shown them how to behave. I also can't assume that they will learn it and remember it after I've taught it just once, twice, three times, or more. They will eventually learn how to behave only if I teach them just a small amount at a time and review it over and over again each and every day.
Successful parents and teachers identify specific behaviors they want kids to perform, and they repeatedly model and teach these behaviors, such as:
How to share How to stand in line without touching others How to say "please" and "thank you" What it looks like to be helpful How to comfort someone who is upset How to listen How to tell others how you feel instead of acting out your feelings by hitting, pushing, etc. How to compromise How to comfort yourself when you don't get your way
Young children learn through play. Great parents and teachers of young children teach through play. In the following example, Dad teaches three-year-old Ethan a fun lesson in problem solving:
Dad: (Holding Fred, the stuffed skunk) Uh oh, Fred has a big problem!
Ethan: What?
Dad: His friends are calling him names. They say he smells like a skunk.
Ethan: He IS a skunk!
Dad: Yeah. But it hurts his feelings. What do you think he should do?
Ethan: Maybe bite their noses!
Dad: Oh no. What would happen if he did that?
Ethan: He'd get in big trouble…have to go to his room.
Dad: Yeah. How sad. And then he wouldn't be able to play anymore. What else could he do?
Ethan: Don't know.
Dad: What if he was just silly and said, "I know. I'm very, very smelly. Woooo Weeee!" and played with the other kids anyway?
Ethan: Good! Silly!
And so on...
Systematically attend to positive behavior. How often does the following vicious cycle develop in the lives of aggressive toddlers?
The child hits, kicks, bites, or does something else hurtful.
A well-meaning adult quickly gives the aggressive child far too much attention in the form of warnings, lectures, or "punishments."
Subconsciously, the child learns that they receive the lion's share of the attention every child craves (albeit negative attention) when they are behaving poorly.
The child acts out more frequently to get this attention.
Well-meaning adults quickly give the child even more attention when he/she acts aggressively.
The cycle repeats itself over and over again, intensifying with each repetition.
The key to breaking this dangerous cycle involves paying close attention to the child and systematically "noticing" when they are performing the behaviors we want. More specifically, this aggression "antidote" involves the follow sequence of actions:
When the child is behaving, move over to the child, kneel down, and smile.
Look into their bright little eyes.
Give them a gentle pat on the back, a "high five," or a hug.
Describe the positive behavior you just witnessed, using the format,"I noticed…"
Far too frequently, we heap far too much nonspecific praise upon children. The more specific and precise our description of the behavior, the more successful we will be. For example,"I noticed that you shared the red truck with Jamie" will surely yield more favorable results than, "I noticed you are being so nice and sweet." In my presentations, I often give this tip:
Notice and specifically describe…rather than praise.
Consult with qualified medical and mental health professionals. Listed below are just a few possible causes of aggressive behavior in young children:
Poor parenting
Trauma in the form of abuse or neglect
Brain damage due to closed-head injury, lack of oxygen during the birth process, prenatal exposure to drugs, alcohol, or other toxins, etc.
Genetic abnormalities
Other health problems Marital problems resulting in family instability
Observation of aggressive peers
The list goes on.
Wise parents don't hesitate to consult with qualified medical and mental health professionals in order to rule out as many potential causes for the aggression as possible and treat the ones that seem to be playing a role in the problem.
Apply multiple effective interventions simultaneously.
The research is clear. The more helpful things we do to address the problem…and do at the same time…the greater the chances of success (Henry, 1987;Webster-Stratton & Hammond, 1997).
For example, an ineffective plan for Amy, a very aggressive youngster, might involve simply delivering a logical consequence each time she acts out.
An effective plan would involve not only delivering a logical consequence each time Amy acted aggressively, but also many other components, including limiting her exposure to TV and videos, modeling and teaching social skills, systematically attending to her positive behavior, adding family therapy, making sure that the home and daycare are "on the same page," etc.
There's great hope for little tykes who've fallen into the habit of terrorizing their homes and classrooms. That is, as long as the caring adults around them take immediate and decisive action. Please don't fall into the trap of thinking that a chronically disruptive, aggressive toddler will grow out of it. The world can't afford another violent teenager!
End the Bedtime Blues
By Jim Fay
The challenges of adolescence can be harder for parents to deal with than for their kids
Bedtime is a time of frustration for many parents. They wish it could be a magical time to reconnect with children and share fond memories. Here are some easy ways to make those dreams come true:
Bedroom Time vs. Bedtime The journey to bedtime bliss starts with renaming bedtime. Kids need to think of this time as "bedroom time." It's a time for them to be in their rooms, but not necessarily with their eyes closed. Wise parents never try to control the uncontrollable. "You get in your bed and go to sleep, right now!" creates a power struggle over something parents cannot control. A skillful child can keep a parent engaged with this argument for hours.
Slowdown Time Bedroom time is a journey in itself. It starts with "slowdown time." A slowdown routine is essential. Children's brains operate at a high pitch and don't shut down as quickly as adult brains. Parents should announce the beginning of slowdown time about 40 minutes before bedroom time.
Slowdown time includes turning off stimulating activities such as television, exciting music, and family games. It also is a wonderful time to give kids choices:
"Do you want to go to bed right now or in 10 minutes?" "Do you want to brush your teeth in the kitchen or the bathroom?" "Do you want a story first or your bath first?" "Do you want a drink in the kitchen or in your room?" "Do you want a piggy back ride or walk on your own?" "Do you want the light on or off?" "Do you want to get tucked in or do it yourself?" "Do you want to go to sleep right away or try to keep your eyes open as long as you can?" There is magic in choices. They speak directly to the human need for control and can produce amazing results. Be sure to offer choices you like. Never give one choice you like and one you don't.
The kids are given no more than 10 seconds to make their decisions. If it takes longer, make the decision for them. Kids become quick decision-makers when they know their parents will be making the decision for them if they don't act quickly.
Some children like to negotiate in the face of choices. Resist the temptation to argue or reason at this time. Use Love and Logic® arguing neutralizers, such as "I love you too much to argue about that, maybe you'll like tomorrow's choices better." Repeat this phrase as often as necessary without sarcasm or anger.
Remember there is nothing more contagious than a yawn. Experiment with yawning and acting sleepy during story time. It's great fun to watch the drooping eyelids.
Parent Time Once the kids are in their room, that's where they stay. Announce that "kid's time" is over and it is now "parent's time." Stick to your guns on this.
Kids have been known to resort to, "It's scary in here. There's monsters in my room."
Just remember kids take their emotional cues from their parents. The best solution is to respond in a firm, yet loving way: "Well, sweetie, my advice is to make friends with them. See you in the morning. I love you!"
Give these Love and Logic® tips a try, and join thousands of parents who enjoy peaceful evenings with their kids!
Bedtime is a time of frustration for many parents. They wish it could be a magical time to reconnect with children and share fond memories. Here are some easy ways to make those dreams come true:
Bedroom Time vs. Bedtime The journey to bedtime bliss starts with renaming bedtime. Kids need to think of this time as "bedroom time." It's a time for them to be in their rooms, but not necessarily with their eyes closed. Wise parents never try to control the uncontrollable. "You get in your bed and go to sleep, right now!" creates a power struggle over something parents cannot control. A skillful child can keep a parent engaged with this argument for hours.
Slowdown Time Bedroom time is a journey in itself. It starts with "slowdown time." A slowdown routine is essential. Children's brains operate at a high pitch and don't shut down as quickly as adult brains. Parents should announce the beginning of slowdown time about 40 minutes before bedroom time.
Slowdown time includes turning off stimulating activities such as television, exciting music, and family games. It also is a wonderful time to give kids choices:
"Do you want to go to bed right now or in 10 minutes?" "Do you want to brush your teeth in the kitchen or the bathroom?" "Do you want a story first or your bath first?" "Do you want a drink in the kitchen or in your room?" "Do you want a piggy back ride or walk on your own?" "Do you want the light on or off?" "Do you want to get tucked in or do it yourself?" "Do you want to go to sleep right away or try to keep your eyes open as long as you can?" There is magic in choices. They speak directly to the human need for control and can produce amazing results. Be sure to offer choices you like. Never give one choice you like and one you don't.
The kids are given no more than 10 seconds to make their decisions. If it takes longer, make the decision for them. Kids become quick decision-makers when they know their parents will be making the decision for them if they don't act quickly.
Some children like to negotiate in the face of choices. Resist the temptation to argue or reason at this time. Use Love and Logic® arguing neutralizers, such as "I love you too much to argue about that, maybe you'll like tomorrow's choices better." Repeat this phrase as often as necessary without sarcasm or anger.
Remember there is nothing more contagious than a yawn. Experiment with yawning and acting sleepy during story time. It's great fun to watch the drooping eyelids.
Parent Time Once the kids are in their room, that's where they stay. Announce that "kid's time" is over and it is now "parent's time." Stick to your guns on this.
Kids have been known to resort to, "It's scary in here. There's monsters in my room."
Just remember kids take their emotional cues from their parents. The best solution is to respond in a firm, yet loving way: "Well, sweetie, my advice is to make friends with them. See you in the morning. I love you!"
Give these Love and Logic® tips a try, and join thousands of parents who enjoy peaceful evenings with their kids!
August 16, 2007 By patricia
I am spending many late nights finishing my dissertation, and I find with so much serious concentration that I look forward to playing games with my children even more during the day. Coloring with chalk and playing hide and seek are great ways to distract me from the 300 pages of academic writing I am trying to complete. As I watch my children, I am encouraged to be the best parent I can by always trying to do better. You do not have to be a perfect parent, but be perfectly motivated to do your best parenting every day. Parenting is a huge responsibility that does not come with much training, so here are some practical ways to be a better parent, one day and one decision at a time.
1. When you tackle a project, find a way to give your child some role in the task.
From preschool to the teenage years, children love to feel needed, and working together provides opportunity to talk and learn about how things function. My husband worked on cars with his dad since he could barely hold a hammer, and now my son does the same with his dad. Whether you are getting organized, mowing the lawn, creating a scrapbook, doing household chores, or building something on a computer, do it together. Even by simply giving your 4-year-old the socks to sort by color and fold, you are doing something great!
2. Think before you speak.
Automatically you are a better parent if you do this one. Words said in haste or impatience can leave a lasting impression on their hearts, like a footprint in cement. When you are emotional or tempted to react instead of respond, think. In most cases, waiting a few seconds or minutes to speak will only help the situation as tempers settle down on all sides.
3. Ask your children about their day, and listen with interest and support.
4. Find some genuine compliment or praise you can give them. Look for ways to reward kindness and responsibility every day.
5. Change your countenance when you make eye contact- smile!
They see you frustrated, now let them know they help add peace to the family. Knowing your day is brighter just by their presence gives them confidence and improved self-esteem.
6. Encourage talent and find one new thing to introduce to them and help to open up their world. One new skill, idea, location, career, and possibility. Do this often.
7. Next time you try to get your kids’ attention, instead of talking louder and louder, talk softer and softer. You command more respect and attention with a stern voice than with a harsh yell. If they cannot hear you, get closer and calmly speak again.
8. Say NO, firmly but with compassion.
If you feel guilty, is it because there is no logical reason for your no (then fix this), or is it because you just feel bad for your child who is sad (and you need to go with your gut to protect them). Know you are a better parent and show your love by setting limits.
9. Say YES, and sacrifice when you had not intended to do so.
Do one more thing for your children that is extra special, even though you do not have to, and show them how important their happiness is to you. Then enjoy the reward of their excitement as you watch them smile.
10. Be consistent and transparent.
You know what consequences to expect if you are late to work, you do not pay your bills, or you commit a crime. If you are late to work you will not be thrown in jail for life. Do you ever remember feeling like your teacher or parent was administering too much punishment for the type of wrong deed? Be sure your children know what to expect, what to avoid, and can trust you to be fair and consistent in your discipline. Be sure they know you love them even if you do not love their actions, but that they still learn to take responsibility for their actions. Always be sure they are safe and not in fear of harm from your anger. Start communicating. Stick with a healthy plan, and administer it in love. As you do this, you are already a better parent. Keep it up and keep getting better.
11. Do something for yourself.
Yes, I mean you, the hard working parent who fills up the day with so much you wish you could have nap time yourself. For me, these articles help me express what is on my mind, and give me some time alone in quiet thought. What is your outlet? Take care of yourself and instantly be a better, happier, more refreshed parent. 12. Assume the best, not the worst.
Kids often feel like they are guilty until proven innocent. When they start to tell you something, before you become defensive or over-react, consider if you are only worried about your assumptions, not what they are actually saying. They will sense your distrust, and shy away from openness if it is unwarranted.
13. If trust has been broken in the past, give your child a clear roadmap to earn it back.
Children need to know you will forgive them and that it is possible to restore your confidence in them, or they may develop a “why bother” attitude. Give them a reason to get past their mistakes and turn them into strengthening lessons for a lifetime of successful living.
14. Let them see your strength in weakness- conquer your bad example.
Is there an area in your life that needs improvement? Children are perceptive, and will learn by your example if you fight to give up your bad habits. The best way to show them how to live successful and free is to live this way yourself. Everyone can strive to do better, to be better. Whether you have an addiction, you are just not taking care of your body, you procrastinate, or you need to work on your attitude during stressful times, every step you take to improve yourself will show your children that change is possible and life is full of possibilities.
15. Show up for the important times, and listen to know what these really are (do not just assume).
16. Take one more step today towards living what you believe and instantly be a better parent.
Share your faith and world view not just as something on paper, but by living it. Be who you say you are and lead by example. As a Christian, the best way I can encourage my children to embrace God and my beliefs is to show them how my relationship with God makes my everyday life better. They see how I really live, and learn more from what I do (and do not do) than what I say.
17. Eat one meal together every day as a family, away from the television and phone.
18. Children love routine, so add a new tradition.
I play checkers after school with my elementary school son. He looks forward to our time together, and I love to hear about his day as we play together. Last year I started a silly little saying when I picked up my children from preschool or school. I would get in the car, stop putting on my seatbelt, and turn to them each and say “Oh, look at that face, oh I missed you!” and reach back for a hug. This always got big smiles, and one day I forgot and started the engine and my 4-year-old said with a grin “Mommy, you forgot to look at my face!” You can add a night time routine, such as saying “I love you” or saying a prayer before going to sleep where you thank God for the thrill of your children (letting them hear your gratitude for their lives). Start a new tradition today.
19. Have a family fun time at least once a week.
Cut out something from your schedule if you have to, but find a way to play together. No criticism or work involved, just have a good time hanging together as a family.
20. Next time you wonder why your children react in a certain way, imagine the scenario through their perspective.
What would you want to see different to help lessen anxiety? Often children see adults impatient, angry, or annoyed with them. Trying to figure out why they feel as they do can help you know how to help them. Even if you cannot or will not change the circumstances, you might see how to help them better adapt to their discomfort.
21. Give your child a physical sign of affection every day.
A hug, pat on the back, or even a squeeze on the hand can show you care. Scientists show that physical affection from trusted loved ones helps reduce stress and elevate mood. Infants who are never held will die, and as you grow up you continue to receive comfort from touch.
22. When tempted to argue as adults in front of your child, stop. You just became a better parent.
It is healthy to work out minor differences in front of your kids and let them see how people solve problems, provided you are truly resolving the issues and not tearing each other down, but deeper disagreements need to be managed in private. Children of all ages internalize comments they hear, so talking about how something makes you feel can leave your child feeling responsible and taking on unnecessary stress.
23. Do not argue with your children.
You are the parent. Command respect by telling them you will gladly listen to their side, but there will be no argument.
24. Seek out humor, and laugh at the unexpected!
Are you so stressed out and tired that you almost cried just because you spilled your coke? Break the mood and laugh at how you let yourself get disproportionately frazzled. Your children will laugh too, and learn how to relieve stress. Find funny comic strips, and laugh at jokes your children tell you. Laughter is good for your body inside and out.
25. When your children approach you for attention, give it as soon as possible.
Have a signal you can give that means just a minute, finish up your immediate task as quickly as possible, and then drop everything, look them in the eye, and give them five minutes. Whether they just want to tell you a joke, perform a puppet show, or vent about a problem with some friends, send them the message you are available and approachable, and you value your children. Let them know they are a priority.
26. Try something new and learn it together. Let your child become the teacher or help solve a problem.
27. Vary your activities and your environment. Encourage your children to go outdoors, to play indoors, and to do different things throughout the day.
28. Help your children attend to their own four core components to be happy, and lead by example yourself.
Live in balance, and help your children adjust their schedule if it is too busy or if they need to explore a new activity.
29. Read together every day, especially books about their interests.
30. Every child learns differently so discover your child’s learning style. Encourage a love of learning, encourage dreams and goals, tell your children ”You can do it!” and believe it with them!
I am spending many late nights finishing my dissertation, and I find with so much serious concentration that I look forward to playing games with my children even more during the day. Coloring with chalk and playing hide and seek are great ways to distract me from the 300 pages of academic writing I am trying to complete. As I watch my children, I am encouraged to be the best parent I can by always trying to do better. You do not have to be a perfect parent, but be perfectly motivated to do your best parenting every day. Parenting is a huge responsibility that does not come with much training, so here are some practical ways to be a better parent, one day and one decision at a time.
1. When you tackle a project, find a way to give your child some role in the task.
From preschool to the teenage years, children love to feel needed, and working together provides opportunity to talk and learn about how things function. My husband worked on cars with his dad since he could barely hold a hammer, and now my son does the same with his dad. Whether you are getting organized, mowing the lawn, creating a scrapbook, doing household chores, or building something on a computer, do it together. Even by simply giving your 4-year-old the socks to sort by color and fold, you are doing something great!
2. Think before you speak.
Automatically you are a better parent if you do this one. Words said in haste or impatience can leave a lasting impression on their hearts, like a footprint in cement. When you are emotional or tempted to react instead of respond, think. In most cases, waiting a few seconds or minutes to speak will only help the situation as tempers settle down on all sides.
3. Ask your children about their day, and listen with interest and support.
4. Find some genuine compliment or praise you can give them. Look for ways to reward kindness and responsibility every day.
5. Change your countenance when you make eye contact- smile!
They see you frustrated, now let them know they help add peace to the family. Knowing your day is brighter just by their presence gives them confidence and improved self-esteem.
6. Encourage talent and find one new thing to introduce to them and help to open up their world. One new skill, idea, location, career, and possibility. Do this often.
7. Next time you try to get your kids’ attention, instead of talking louder and louder, talk softer and softer. You command more respect and attention with a stern voice than with a harsh yell. If they cannot hear you, get closer and calmly speak again.
8. Say NO, firmly but with compassion.
If you feel guilty, is it because there is no logical reason for your no (then fix this), or is it because you just feel bad for your child who is sad (and you need to go with your gut to protect them). Know you are a better parent and show your love by setting limits.
9. Say YES, and sacrifice when you had not intended to do so.
Do one more thing for your children that is extra special, even though you do not have to, and show them how important their happiness is to you. Then enjoy the reward of their excitement as you watch them smile.
10. Be consistent and transparent.
You know what consequences to expect if you are late to work, you do not pay your bills, or you commit a crime. If you are late to work you will not be thrown in jail for life. Do you ever remember feeling like your teacher or parent was administering too much punishment for the type of wrong deed? Be sure your children know what to expect, what to avoid, and can trust you to be fair and consistent in your discipline. Be sure they know you love them even if you do not love their actions, but that they still learn to take responsibility for their actions. Always be sure they are safe and not in fear of harm from your anger. Start communicating. Stick with a healthy plan, and administer it in love. As you do this, you are already a better parent. Keep it up and keep getting better.
11. Do something for yourself.
Yes, I mean you, the hard working parent who fills up the day with so much you wish you could have nap time yourself. For me, these articles help me express what is on my mind, and give me some time alone in quiet thought. What is your outlet? Take care of yourself and instantly be a better, happier, more refreshed parent. 12. Assume the best, not the worst.
Kids often feel like they are guilty until proven innocent. When they start to tell you something, before you become defensive or over-react, consider if you are only worried about your assumptions, not what they are actually saying. They will sense your distrust, and shy away from openness if it is unwarranted.
13. If trust has been broken in the past, give your child a clear roadmap to earn it back.
Children need to know you will forgive them and that it is possible to restore your confidence in them, or they may develop a “why bother” attitude. Give them a reason to get past their mistakes and turn them into strengthening lessons for a lifetime of successful living.
14. Let them see your strength in weakness- conquer your bad example.
Is there an area in your life that needs improvement? Children are perceptive, and will learn by your example if you fight to give up your bad habits. The best way to show them how to live successful and free is to live this way yourself. Everyone can strive to do better, to be better. Whether you have an addiction, you are just not taking care of your body, you procrastinate, or you need to work on your attitude during stressful times, every step you take to improve yourself will show your children that change is possible and life is full of possibilities.
15. Show up for the important times, and listen to know what these really are (do not just assume).
16. Take one more step today towards living what you believe and instantly be a better parent.
Share your faith and world view not just as something on paper, but by living it. Be who you say you are and lead by example. As a Christian, the best way I can encourage my children to embrace God and my beliefs is to show them how my relationship with God makes my everyday life better. They see how I really live, and learn more from what I do (and do not do) than what I say.
17. Eat one meal together every day as a family, away from the television and phone.
18. Children love routine, so add a new tradition.
I play checkers after school with my elementary school son. He looks forward to our time together, and I love to hear about his day as we play together. Last year I started a silly little saying when I picked up my children from preschool or school. I would get in the car, stop putting on my seatbelt, and turn to them each and say “Oh, look at that face, oh I missed you!” and reach back for a hug. This always got big smiles, and one day I forgot and started the engine and my 4-year-old said with a grin “Mommy, you forgot to look at my face!” You can add a night time routine, such as saying “I love you” or saying a prayer before going to sleep where you thank God for the thrill of your children (letting them hear your gratitude for their lives). Start a new tradition today.
19. Have a family fun time at least once a week.
Cut out something from your schedule if you have to, but find a way to play together. No criticism or work involved, just have a good time hanging together as a family.
20. Next time you wonder why your children react in a certain way, imagine the scenario through their perspective.
What would you want to see different to help lessen anxiety? Often children see adults impatient, angry, or annoyed with them. Trying to figure out why they feel as they do can help you know how to help them. Even if you cannot or will not change the circumstances, you might see how to help them better adapt to their discomfort.
21. Give your child a physical sign of affection every day.
A hug, pat on the back, or even a squeeze on the hand can show you care. Scientists show that physical affection from trusted loved ones helps reduce stress and elevate mood. Infants who are never held will die, and as you grow up you continue to receive comfort from touch.
22. When tempted to argue as adults in front of your child, stop. You just became a better parent.
It is healthy to work out minor differences in front of your kids and let them see how people solve problems, provided you are truly resolving the issues and not tearing each other down, but deeper disagreements need to be managed in private. Children of all ages internalize comments they hear, so talking about how something makes you feel can leave your child feeling responsible and taking on unnecessary stress.
23. Do not argue with your children.
You are the parent. Command respect by telling them you will gladly listen to their side, but there will be no argument.
24. Seek out humor, and laugh at the unexpected!
Are you so stressed out and tired that you almost cried just because you spilled your coke? Break the mood and laugh at how you let yourself get disproportionately frazzled. Your children will laugh too, and learn how to relieve stress. Find funny comic strips, and laugh at jokes your children tell you. Laughter is good for your body inside and out.
25. When your children approach you for attention, give it as soon as possible.
Have a signal you can give that means just a minute, finish up your immediate task as quickly as possible, and then drop everything, look them in the eye, and give them five minutes. Whether they just want to tell you a joke, perform a puppet show, or vent about a problem with some friends, send them the message you are available and approachable, and you value your children. Let them know they are a priority.
26. Try something new and learn it together. Let your child become the teacher or help solve a problem.
27. Vary your activities and your environment. Encourage your children to go outdoors, to play indoors, and to do different things throughout the day.
28. Help your children attend to their own four core components to be happy, and lead by example yourself.
Live in balance, and help your children adjust their schedule if it is too busy or if they need to explore a new activity.
29. Read together every day, especially books about their interests.
30. Every child learns differently so discover your child’s learning style. Encourage a love of learning, encourage dreams and goals, tell your children ”You can do it!” and believe it with them!
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NuVerus Plus – Our flagship product is a USDA Organic concentrated SuperFood drink containing 20 powerful nutrients from around the world. NuVerus Plus was tested for anti-oxidant value and with an amazing ORAC score of over 277,000 per bottle or 8650 μmole TE/fl oz.
Visit the NuVerus Plus section of our web site in the above menu to see the NuVerus Orac Score.
NuVerus energy – Our second product combines ancient wisdom with modern science for a new kind of Anti-Oxidant SuperFood Energy Drink. NuVerus energy is USDA Organic, is loaded with anti-oxidants and SuperFoods, and is the most advanced energy drink ever created. Prosperity
A Prosperous life is a goal that we believe all people worldwide have an innate desire to obtain. However, true prosperity cannot be found in an unhealthy body. To be prosperous, you MUST first be on the path to better health so you may enjoy the prosperity you create for yourself. Through our innovative, health oriented business solutions model, you can find the nutritional products you need and through our compensation plans, obtain the ultimate goal of financial prosperity and self-sufficiency.
Freedom
Freedom, for some it is about allowing others to control their destiny, for those courageous others who yearn for true liberation, freedom is the fundamental right to truly decide the course of their own future. Without good health and a prosperous life, freedom is difficult to obtain. However, we believe many people like you throughout the world, yearn for freedom and share that common goal. NuVerus brings freedom loving people together to work towards these common goals, Health-Prosperity-Freedom. The great thing about it, along the way, you meet lots of like-minded people, make new friends, all the while achieve these core goals.
The dynamic, innovative, health oriented, network marketing business model we have created can help individuals, organizations, communities and municipalities worldwide.
A global business model that always starts with the individual. A model that depends on the individual. A model that depends on the individual to reach out, to share in there success. It is about you taking that first step and deciding to follow your own path to Health, Prosperity, Freedom.
For more info visit www.euforiasuperfood.net
The NuVerus Plus™ Story
Ancient civilizations were known for their wisdom and their ability to unlock nature’s secrets. They understood the intrinsic power of natural healers like Nigella Sativa, Aloe Vera, Curcumin, Grape Seed Extract (Resveratrol), Mangosteen, Pomegranate, Noni, Acai, Green Tea, Blueberry, Goji, and Quercetin, and how they could promote overall wellness.
At NuVerus, we have rediscovered the wisdom of the ancients and combined it with modern science in order to unlock the secret to optimal health and wellness.
We call it NuVerus Plus™.
NuVerus Plus is a new kind of SuperFood geared toward today’s lifestyles. NuVerus Plus not only tastes great and provides pure energy, it also contains powerful antioxidants that help protect the body from harmful free radicals that can cause disease. Its key ingredient is Nigella Sativa, more commonly known as Black Seed.
For centuries, the health benefits of Black Seed could only be realized through pill or oil form. Not any more. Through advanced research and technology, NuVerus has extracted the most important components of Black Seed and formulated it to work together with all of NuVerus Plus's other ingredients to make it the most comprehensive and unique wellness drink available today. It is the perfect blend of nature’s power, ancient wisdom, and modern science. NuVerus Plus is delicious.
Just ask the kids who drink it every day. Just ask the Hollywood Celebrities who are drinking it everyday as well as 1000's of other satisfied people of all ages who have discovered NuVerus Plus.
What are people saying about NuVerus Plus .
People are reporting improvements in: - energy and focus - ability to sleep at night - reduced joint pain and stiffness - reduced digestive disturbance - improved quality of hair, skin, and nails. - reduction in allergies, colds, and flu - and much more!
NuVerus Plus is Doctor Approved.
The Medical Advisory Board of world renowned physicians at NuVerus not only recommends you drink NuVerus Plus, they developed and tested NuVerus Plus.
NuVerus Plus is Certified Organic.
NuVerus Plus is certified Organic with no added sugar and no Preservatives.
NuVerus Plus is loaded with antioxidants.
Certified Testing shows that each ounce of NuVerus Plus, that you consume contains almost 9000 units of antioxidants, or the equivalent of consuming 9 servings of fruits & vegetables.
Why should you drink NuVerus Plus?
Unless you are consuming 5 or more servings of organic fresh fruits and vegetables daily, you are not getting the daily supply of vital nutrients and antioxidants that Doctors recommend.
NuVerus Plus is the solution.
Drink 1 ounce of NuVerus Plus in the morning and 1 ounce in the evening for optimal health and wellness. NuVerus Plus is safe for all members of your family.
For for info visit www.euforiasuperfood.net
At NuVerus, we have rediscovered the wisdom of the ancients and combined it with modern science in order to unlock the secret to optimal health and wellness.
We call it NuVerus Plus™.
NuVerus Plus is a new kind of SuperFood geared toward today’s lifestyles. NuVerus Plus not only tastes great and provides pure energy, it also contains powerful antioxidants that help protect the body from harmful free radicals that can cause disease. Its key ingredient is Nigella Sativa, more commonly known as Black Seed.
For centuries, the health benefits of Black Seed could only be realized through pill or oil form. Not any more. Through advanced research and technology, NuVerus has extracted the most important components of Black Seed and formulated it to work together with all of NuVerus Plus's other ingredients to make it the most comprehensive and unique wellness drink available today. It is the perfect blend of nature’s power, ancient wisdom, and modern science. NuVerus Plus is delicious.
Just ask the kids who drink it every day. Just ask the Hollywood Celebrities who are drinking it everyday as well as 1000's of other satisfied people of all ages who have discovered NuVerus Plus.
What are people saying about NuVerus Plus .
People are reporting improvements in: - energy and focus - ability to sleep at night - reduced joint pain and stiffness - reduced digestive disturbance - improved quality of hair, skin, and nails. - reduction in allergies, colds, and flu - and much more!
NuVerus Plus is Doctor Approved.
The Medical Advisory Board of world renowned physicians at NuVerus not only recommends you drink NuVerus Plus, they developed and tested NuVerus Plus.
NuVerus Plus is Certified Organic.
NuVerus Plus is certified Organic with no added sugar and no Preservatives.
NuVerus Plus is loaded with antioxidants.
Certified Testing shows that each ounce of NuVerus Plus, that you consume contains almost 9000 units of antioxidants, or the equivalent of consuming 9 servings of fruits & vegetables.
Why should you drink NuVerus Plus?
Unless you are consuming 5 or more servings of organic fresh fruits and vegetables daily, you are not getting the daily supply of vital nutrients and antioxidants that Doctors recommend.
NuVerus Plus is the solution.
Drink 1 ounce of NuVerus Plus in the morning and 1 ounce in the evening for optimal health and wellness. NuVerus Plus is safe for all members of your family.
For for info visit www.euforiasuperfood.net
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NuVerus energy combines ancient wisdom with modern science for a new kind of Antioxidant SuperFood Energy Drink. NuVerus energy will give you the energy you are used to from other energy products or your morning coffee. But that is where the similarities end.
The Power of Green Tea Caffeine in NuVerus energy
There are many fortified energy drink products on the market today. Many of us, including our youth, spend hours surfing the net or watching TV while consuming several energy drinks per day. Why should we be concerned about this new variety of mental stimulant? A cup or two of coffee every day has never caused serious health effects. The big difference relates to where the buzz comes from: natural coffee caffeine vs. laboratory produced synthetic caffeine.
This new market of energy drinks is made with synthetic caffeine. Synthetic caffeine is much more potent. All of the natural and organic substances that come with the natural caffeine sources do not exist with factory produced synthetic caffeine. Synthetic caffeine is absorbed quickly by the body. Natural products like Green Tea caffeine, on the other hand, are absorbed more slowly by the body.
They are also less concentrated and therefore less toxic than synthetic caffeine. There are many advantages with the natural version of caffeine in Green Tea. The duration of the increased mental clarity will be longer. Instead of the instant buzz you get from most energy drinks and then the inevitable crash, you get a prolonged feeling of alertness for many hours, and the effect eventually wears off gradually. Another benefit occurs over the medium and long term. Continuous usage of synthetic caffeine tends to over saturate the nervous system which can lead to bigger problems. With Green Tea caffeine our circulatory and elimination systems can easily eliminate this natural caffeine without taxing the nervous system.
NuVerus energy contains Powerful SuperFoods for optimal health including: Black Seed Oil, Grape Skin Extract, and Quercetin. For centuries, the health benefits of Black Seed could only be realized through pill or oil form. Not anymore. Through advanced research and technology, NuVerus has extracted the most important components of Black Seed and formulated it to work together with all of NuVerus energy's other ingredients.
NuVerus energy is made with Organic Juices including: Blueberry, Pomegranate, Noni, Apple, Pear, Grape and Cherry. These Organic Juices are loaded with Vitamins, Minerals, and Antioxidants for advanced daily supplementation for all your nutritional needs.
NuVerus energy uses a base of Aloe Vera for advanced absorption. Aloe Vera hydrates your body, reduces inflammation, and helps eliminate soreness after athletic performance. By using Aloe Vera, the nutrients in NuVerus energy are absorbed at up to a 300% higher rate.
NuVerus energy is certified USDA Organic and contains no Preservatives or Artificial Sweeteners. NuVerus energy tastes delicious. Add to your morning dose of NuVerus Plus to start your day energized.
Mix NuVerus energy with your favorite beverage or blend into a smoothie for a delicious and refreshing functional beverage.
The Power of Green Tea Caffeine in NuVerus energy
There are many fortified energy drink products on the market today. Many of us, including our youth, spend hours surfing the net or watching TV while consuming several energy drinks per day. Why should we be concerned about this new variety of mental stimulant? A cup or two of coffee every day has never caused serious health effects. The big difference relates to where the buzz comes from: natural coffee caffeine vs. laboratory produced synthetic caffeine.
This new market of energy drinks is made with synthetic caffeine. Synthetic caffeine is much more potent. All of the natural and organic substances that come with the natural caffeine sources do not exist with factory produced synthetic caffeine. Synthetic caffeine is absorbed quickly by the body. Natural products like Green Tea caffeine, on the other hand, are absorbed more slowly by the body.
They are also less concentrated and therefore less toxic than synthetic caffeine. There are many advantages with the natural version of caffeine in Green Tea. The duration of the increased mental clarity will be longer. Instead of the instant buzz you get from most energy drinks and then the inevitable crash, you get a prolonged feeling of alertness for many hours, and the effect eventually wears off gradually. Another benefit occurs over the medium and long term. Continuous usage of synthetic caffeine tends to over saturate the nervous system which can lead to bigger problems. With Green Tea caffeine our circulatory and elimination systems can easily eliminate this natural caffeine without taxing the nervous system.
NuVerus energy contains Powerful SuperFoods for optimal health including: Black Seed Oil, Grape Skin Extract, and Quercetin. For centuries, the health benefits of Black Seed could only be realized through pill or oil form. Not anymore. Through advanced research and technology, NuVerus has extracted the most important components of Black Seed and formulated it to work together with all of NuVerus energy's other ingredients.
NuVerus energy is made with Organic Juices including: Blueberry, Pomegranate, Noni, Apple, Pear, Grape and Cherry. These Organic Juices are loaded with Vitamins, Minerals, and Antioxidants for advanced daily supplementation for all your nutritional needs.
NuVerus energy uses a base of Aloe Vera for advanced absorption. Aloe Vera hydrates your body, reduces inflammation, and helps eliminate soreness after athletic performance. By using Aloe Vera, the nutrients in NuVerus energy are absorbed at up to a 300% higher rate.
NuVerus energy is certified USDA Organic and contains no Preservatives or Artificial Sweeteners. NuVerus energy tastes delicious. Add to your morning dose of NuVerus Plus to start your day energized.
Mix NuVerus energy with your favorite beverage or blend into a smoothie for a delicious and refreshing functional beverage.
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A few years ago, I learned a parenting trick that changed my life. It wasn’t complicated. I didn’t find it buried in one of those 400-page-long, zero-pictures parenting books that you often assume everyone has read but you. It’s not even that long. You can master this trick in 4 seconds. What is it?
Simple:
Hang up and arrive.
Or, in longer form, when you walk through the door after work or a trip or an errand, don’t be on the phone.
One of the greatest ways to destroy a little kid who is waiting for you is to come home and still be on your cell phone.
Nothing deflates a daughter who runs toward you for a hug like a hand that says, “Wait a second, I need to finish this call.”
Nothing says “you’re second place in my life,” like walking through the door while still on the phone.
Nothing says, “my world is more important than yours,” like refusing to end a call when your kids come sprinting down the stairs to see you.
But fortunately, nothing is easier to fix than this issue.
If you’re on a call that you can’t get off, then don’t pull into the driveway until you’re done. I used to park in our neighborhood pool for five minutes to finish calls instead of getting home and talking in my kitchen.
It’s a silly thing maybe. It’s a small thing I guess, but it makes a difference, and I learned this lesson by getting it wrong about a thousand times. And, the scary thing is, you’ve got a limited amount of time to do it.
My daughter L.E. used to knock me down onto my back with a running hug in the front yard when I got home from work. She’s still glad to see me these days, but sometimes I have to find her in the house, and she’s quietly reading a book, not standing at the window awaiting my arrival.
Want to be a better parent in about 4 seconds?
Hang up and arrive.
Question: Is it hard to stay off your cell phone when you get home from work?
Simple:
Hang up and arrive.
Or, in longer form, when you walk through the door after work or a trip or an errand, don’t be on the phone.
One of the greatest ways to destroy a little kid who is waiting for you is to come home and still be on your cell phone.
Nothing deflates a daughter who runs toward you for a hug like a hand that says, “Wait a second, I need to finish this call.”
Nothing says “you’re second place in my life,” like walking through the door while still on the phone.
Nothing says, “my world is more important than yours,” like refusing to end a call when your kids come sprinting down the stairs to see you.
But fortunately, nothing is easier to fix than this issue.
If you’re on a call that you can’t get off, then don’t pull into the driveway until you’re done. I used to park in our neighborhood pool for five minutes to finish calls instead of getting home and talking in my kitchen.
It’s a silly thing maybe. It’s a small thing I guess, but it makes a difference, and I learned this lesson by getting it wrong about a thousand times. And, the scary thing is, you’ve got a limited amount of time to do it.
My daughter L.E. used to knock me down onto my back with a running hug in the front yard when I got home from work. She’s still glad to see me these days, but sometimes I have to find her in the house, and she’s quietly reading a book, not standing at the window awaiting my arrival.
Want to be a better parent in about 4 seconds?
Hang up and arrive.
Question: Is it hard to stay off your cell phone when you get home from work?
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Government funding is often available to help small companies train employees and develop work skills. While some funds come as grants, much of it gets allocated to states or local work-force boards which decide what industries and areas to support. The trick is to identify programs aimed at your region or industry.
Start at the federal level. Representatives at the U.S. Department of Labor’s Business Relations Group will work with you to identify programs you could use. Tell them what industry you’re in and what you’re hoping to accomplish with worker training. They know about programs in the works and can put you on lists to be notified about future opportunities.
State economic-development agencies also offer training assistance, grants and tax credits. Such agencies don’t always have similar names, so when searching online for those in your state, try a variety of key phrases.
Contact your local community college and public university. Government agencies often dole out money to colleges and universities, which, in turn, run training programs. They help you with your grant application, if one is needed, so don’t let a lack of experience in grant-writing stop you.
Across the U.S., work-force boards, run by local appointees and volunteers, help coordinate federal, state and local employment programs.
In addition, One-Stop Career Centers — offices designed as one-stop shops for both employers and workers to get information about the job market and economic development — can help put employers and workers together. There are more than 3,200 centers where you can research training programs and access databases of workers.
For more info check the Wall street Journal
Start at the federal level. Representatives at the U.S. Department of Labor’s Business Relations Group will work with you to identify programs you could use. Tell them what industry you’re in and what you’re hoping to accomplish with worker training. They know about programs in the works and can put you on lists to be notified about future opportunities.
State economic-development agencies also offer training assistance, grants and tax credits. Such agencies don’t always have similar names, so when searching online for those in your state, try a variety of key phrases.
Contact your local community college and public university. Government agencies often dole out money to colleges and universities, which, in turn, run training programs. They help you with your grant application, if one is needed, so don’t let a lack of experience in grant-writing stop you.
Across the U.S., work-force boards, run by local appointees and volunteers, help coordinate federal, state and local employment programs.
In addition, One-Stop Career Centers — offices designed as one-stop shops for both employers and workers to get information about the job market and economic development — can help put employers and workers together. There are more than 3,200 centers where you can research training programs and access databases of workers.
For more info check the Wall street Journal
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